9 Reasons For RCMP Grenade Launchers

RCMP grenade launcher, Northern Lights, Guy J. Sagi, Fear & Loading

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police recently misplaced a bag containing a 40 mm grenade launcher and electronics gear—along with a box of ammo—when the stuff "bounced off a truck" at British Columbia's Golden Ears Bridge, near Vancouver. A law-abiding citizen found the RCMP grenade launcher and returned the items, but not before the agency issued a public plea for help in locating the items.

The incident, however, begs a question: Why does the RCMP need grenade launchers? We'll start with the official claim and provide nine lesser known, "Hokey Smokes" reasons cartoon and movie sex symbol Dudley Do•Right might provide, if he really existed.

  1. The official explanation—To launch less-lethal projectiles and tear gas at unruly mobs
  2. Dudley Do•Right, however, has been known to use his to clear icy roads in Frostbite Falls from time to time
  3. He's also learned damsels in distress prefer their men to make explosive entrances
  4. Breaching dangerous sawmills
  5. Snidely Whiplash is still at large
  6. Finally forcing rabbits out of Bullwinkle's hat
  7. Tactical response to flying squirrel squadrons
  8. Adding color to the Northern lights since 1957
  9. Runaway Zambonis

As you can tell by the photo I took while on assignment one winter while at the north end of Quebec, those explosive colors in the Northern Lights are hard to explain. It could be someone is on the trigger of RCMP grenade launchers on clear, cold winter nights in the Great White North.

*Sturgeons Warning: If you took the bait on this fishy tale, you may also enjoy my alluring Solar Eclipse Facts for Shooters.